Indexing Title: BDEVEZA’s  Medical Anecdotal Report [06-4]

 MAR Title :  We Could Only Give Advice

 Date of Medical Observation : April 2006

Narration :

                Almost everyday in our life, we are confronted with situations or circumstances that test our capabilities and challenge our minds to go to the farthest horizon it can reach. Sometimes, life make us do one crucial decision , a decision which could make or break the moral values that we hold on to as human beings.

                Giving advices to people is not new to me. Day in and day out, I hear sentiments of all sorts. It was one Friday evening during my tour  of duty when I received a text message from a friend during my high school years. That was the first time I heard from her for a very long time. All the message said was , “My sister wants to talk to you.” For a while, I wondered what could possibly happen. Since I was busy at that time, I just reliped okay. The following day, I texted her and asked when was the best time to pass by. She replied that I can go anytime. After finishing my work in the hospital, I went straight to her place. As I arrived, I was received with much excitement and joy by my friend. After saying our hi’s and hello’s, she called for her sister. She was 25 years old and is currently on her second year  of nursing. She sat beside me and as we begin our conversation, my friend left us. I could sense that she was disturbed. She was the first one to start the conversation. “Kuya, maraming salamat at nakarating ka. Sa tingin ko kasi may malaki kang maitutulong sa problema ko.” I felt something different with whay she said. And so I asked, “Ano ba yun? Ano ba ang maitutulong ko sa iyo?” After asking that, we had some moments of silence. I looked at her and she was shedding some tears. I gave her a hug and while doing so, she whispered to me, “Kuya, buntis po ako.” With that, I now saw a clearer picture of what she’s going through. She was 18 weeks pregnant and her main problem was if she would continue with her pregnancy or not. Wth that, I could surmise that she had plans of having an abortion. Now, it was my time to talk. As a friend, “kuya” and doctor, I explained her the situation and all the possible things that could happen. She was very much receptive and she listened well. As we were about to finish our talk, I looked at her closely. Now , I saw some light in her face. She reassured me that she will carefully think of the things I told her.

                After that, my friend and I had constant communication. We would constantly text each other and I would always ask her about her sister. She was doing fine. As we enter the 3^rd week after we saw each other, I received a text message from my friend’s sister. “Kuya, pinalaglag ko na.” That’s all she said. I had mixed emotions during that time. I didn’t reply.. It was quite disappointing but I just said to myself that it’s her to decide for things about her life, not mine.

Insights ( Discovery, Stimulus, Reinforcements / (Physical, Psychosocial, Ethical) :

             Major decisions in life are made with a big heart. It will take a lot before a person could do or act on something. In the process, you would talk or consult people whom you think can ease the burden and can help you in arriving with that big decision you are going to make. Advices would come in from all sides and it’s up to you if you would pick them up or just let it pass by.

                I would say that I was able to give my friend’s sister a good talk. At  first, I asked myself why would she talk to me on such a thing when in fact, she has a lot of people to talk. I would be last in the list. I should not have been in the scene. But I guess it’s because I’m in the medical world. But more important than that, there was one thing I learned. That in life, WE COULD ONLY GIVE ADVICE. We can never impose or demand on something. The final decision is still up to the person. And after everything has been laid down and the decision was made, we just have to accept and respect that person.